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Best Call in the Phone Bank

We are starting a record of the most outrageous calls from our Biden phone banks! First up, this is a dialogue between new volunteer Marianne and a pest exterminator.

Marianne: Hi, my name is Marianne and I’m a volunteer with the Democratic Party.  Is George there?

Voter (irritated voice): Who’s this?...What do you want from me?

Marianne: I don’t want anything. I’m calling on behalf of the Democratic party and I’d like to know who you are voting for in the Presidential election.

Voter (calmer voice): Biden…. hang on. I’m a pest exterminator and I have to take care of one last client. This shouldn't take long.

Marianne: OK.

Pest Guy greets the client.

Client:  The varmint is in the bathroom. 

Pest Guy: I don’t see it.  Where is it?

Client: It’s in the bathtub.

Pest Guy (yells in surprise):  This isn't a raccoon. It's a SNAKE!

Client: Aren’t you going to cover up the drain?

(Miscellaneous sounds)

Client:  What are you going to do with the snake?  Spray it?

Pest Guy (loudly): NO! I'm going to bag it and take it to Animal Control.

Sounds, maybe of a door shutting, and rustling of plastic.

Pest Guy (mumbling loudly): hate snakes!! I had a bad experience with one when I was a kid.

Several seconds pass.

Pest guy (loudly): It bit me!! ***EXPLETIVES ***

Pest Guy (bellowing): YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS A RACCOON! 

Client: My girlfriend called it in. She's a bit flaky.

Marianne: I hope everything’s OK. I’m going to go now.

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