Best Call in the Phone Bank
We are starting a record of the most outrageous calls from our Biden phone banks! First up, this is a dialogue between new volunteer Marianne and a pest exterminator.
Marianne: Hi, my name is Marianne and I’m a volunteer with the Democratic Party. Is George there?
Voter (irritated voice): Who’s this?...What do you want from me?
Marianne: I don’t want anything. I’m calling on behalf of the Democratic party and I’d like to know who you are voting for in the Presidential election.
Voter (calmer voice): Biden…. hang on. I’m a pest exterminator and I have to take care of one last client. This shouldn't take long.
Pest Guy greets the client.
Client: The varmint is in the bathroom.
Pest Guy: I don’t see it. Where is it?
Client: It’s in the bathtub.
Pest Guy (yells in surprise): This isn't a raccoon. It's a SNAKE!
Client: Aren’t you going to cover up the drain?
Client: What are you going to do with the snake? Spray it?
Pest Guy (loudly): NO! I'm going to bag it and take it to Animal Control.
Sounds, maybe of a door shutting, and rustling of plastic.
Pest Guy (mumbling loudly): I hate snakes!! I had a bad experience with one when I was a kid.
Several seconds pass.
Pest guy (loudly): It bit me!! ***EXPLETIVES ***
Pest Guy (bellowing): YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS A RACCOON!
Client: My girlfriend called it in. She's a bit flaky.
Marianne: I hope everything’s OK. I’m going to go now.